There is nothing like the experience of sitting at the knees of a learned person. There is no bond as spiritually satisfying as the bond between student and teacher.

What teachers do you remember the most in life? Whether it is a religious school, public school, or college… we remember the teachers we bonded with the most, the teachers who astounded us with their knowledge, the teachers who we got the chance to share a reciprocation of interests.

Many people go to Islamic conferences, one day Islamic events, or a 1-2 hours lecture only to find themselves returning to their normal selves and mundane routines after a few days have passed. How can we maintain this ‘Iman (faith) rush’? Sure, you can start a halaqah*, sure, you can listen to online and CD lectures every day in your spare time. But to have a personal, qualified mentor is a whole other experience by itself.

A mentor is more than a teacher: he/she is like your guide, counselor, friend, confidante, adviser…the list goes on. Your mentor understands your personality; you can joke around with him/her, eat with him/her, spend time sitting together in silence, and during times of fun. All the while you are gaining from him: from his silence you gain from him, from his eating habits you gain from him, from his worldly speech you gain from him, and from his religious speech you gain from him. Shaykh Zulfiqar once wrote (paraphrased by me) that piety moves around in the room like the breeze does in the environment. Just sitting amongst the righteous is enough to soften your heart.

Alhamdulilah I had such a mentor when I was in high school. Without her I would not be the person that I am today. Although I did not wear hijab in high school, there are times when I wonder about how strong my iman was in high school compared to my current state in university (I cover now). Hijab is just one amongst many tangible items that are fard (mandatory) but do not automatically bring us closer to God. A person can wear anything on the outside to proclaim his/her solidarity with Muslims, but only God knows what is in a person’s heart. There is an infinite list of intangible items, however, that are FARD but people do not emphasize because it is not visible: hayah (modesty, shyness, humility), generosity, taqwa, god-fearingness, etc. Just because one covers her hair does not automatically place her above those who don’t. People overemphasize outer hijab and de-emphasize the hijab within.

Anyway, back to my reflection on my mentor.

Her name started with the letter “F”. She has left many profound and beautiful memories with me that I will never forget. Whenever anyone brings up her name in my mosque, all those who knew her will pause to reflect. They remember how much she invigorated the sisters and the youth of my masjid to return back on the path of God.

She used to hold halaqahs Friday nights at my mosque for about 3 years. I was in high school. However she knew me since I was in elementary school because she was my teacher and one of my mom’s best friends. She saw me grow from a child at age 10 into a young woman at age 18. She knew my personality, my likes, and my dislikes. Her beautiful lectures would often bring tears to the listeners and there was not a Friday that passed when my heart was not stirred due to her speech.

Her presence is greatly missed. Since she has left, my mosque is clearly missing a beautiful light-giving lamp. It’s not the same anymore. I feel a bit empty…and alone when I visit the mosque. When I used to see her, my whole demeanor would change. I would become happy and pleased. I felt refreshed after just sitting next to her. She spoke so beautifully and with sincerity. Sometimes she would pause; sometimes a tear would fall down her cheek.

Right now she is living in the Middle East, and I haven’t been doing a good job of keeping in touch. InshAllah I will change that.

Of course there are many other scholars who have had an impact on my life. But there is nothing like having a personal teacher…one to whom you can share your innermost thoughts one who knows your personality one who you can reach out and touch and give a hug of appreciation. (Yes, sisters do get jealous when brothers get to bond with male scholars).

This is why people desire to have religious/spiritual teachers. Every article of speech that comes out of their mouths is a like a diamond of wisdom that only foolish people will cast aside. This is one reason people pledge to become students of a certain Shaykh (learned elder and scholar); they hope to embody the knowledge, inner states, and sincerity of the shaykh. These shaykhs have chains of Ijazas (permissions to teach) in the areas of fiqh (law), Iman, and Ihsan (doing what is beautiful; perfection) from teacher to teacher leading back to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). The Prophet himself (pbuh) was the first and best teacher.

May God grant a mentor to all those who seek one. May God grant them a mentor who will guide them on the correct path…the path that leads to the perfect emulation of the knowledge, sincerity, character, and inner reality of the best of all Shaykhs–the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Ameen.

*halaqah: literally means circle, but in this context it implies a group of people sitting together in order to gain knowledge.