Do you know someone that is overly sensitive? Do you know someone that constantly complains about how *they* feel or how *their* mood is doing? Is this person a bit dense to how others feel?
Let’s shift the focus from others to myself.

Do I easily get offended by mild things? Do I often complain to others about how *I* feel? Do I immediately display my upsetness to others when I have been hurt? Do I walk away immediately? Am I unable to behave rationally and contain my composure? Does it take me a while to accept the apologies of others?

If I have said yes to any of the above, then I am diagnosed with the disease of the EGO.

“When Solomon leaves the palace, the jinni takes over as king: when patience and intellect go, your ego incites to evil.” (Rumi; Diwan 5798)

“The sensual ego is blind and deaf to God.” (Rumi; M IV 235)

Over the years I have learned to not be sensitive. I still have a long way to go. Sensitivity implies that we give ourselves some worth when in reality we are worth nothing. This is what humility entails: that we are mere creations of water and clay that depend solely on God for our survival. How can we even claim to be worth anything when everything we have is granted to us temporarily from Him?

So about this EGO:

Alhamdulilah, I took a class last semester with Professor Chittick, who is one of the best scholars of Islam in the west today. I am so grateful to God that he and his wife both teach at my university, I don’t understand why more students don’t take advantage of these treasures of knowledge. Anyway, in his class we studied his translation of Rumi’s poetry. The book is entitled, The Sufi Path of Love. In this book we learned that the majority of man’s problems come from within his own breast from his own EGO. Satan can only tempt us and whisper to us; but when we commit a sin, we do it from our own selves.

Most of the pain, suffering, anguish, and worry that comes from living in this world is a result of our ego. We give ourselves some worth. We think, How dare that person talk to me that way? Who does she think she is? Does she know who *I* am? and How dare that person behave that way with me, after all that I have done for her? And How dare my parents speak to me that way? and How cruel is life that I have been so mistreated by it? Why is my life so difficult? What have *I* done to deserve this pain?

Keyword to problems: I

Who is I? What is I? I is the source of my problems-the ego. The ego thinks it has value: that it deserves only good because it does only good. The ego wants to be treated well, the ego thinks that it deserves everything that God has bestowed to it. The ego thinks that whatever talents it has comes straight from the ego itself, rather than God. The ego is proud of its successes, and praises itself. The ego gets upset and offended when others insult it. In fact, it becomes furious! It thinks, HOW DARE they call me that when I am all glory and beauty!?! Big mistake. God is the source of all glory and beauty. The ego talks about its mood and feelings constantly, instead of speaking about God. The ego talks about what makes it feel good, such as specific food, people, and environments instead of the dhikr, scholars, and the environments that soothe the fitra.

So once a person realizes this, he/she has already begun to trod the path of annihilation of the ego. When someone calls you stupid, you should think, “I am stupid, in relation to God I am worth nothing.” You should accept your flaw and move on. If someone upsets your mood, you should think, “Who am I to think that I deserve to be treated well? I am nothing, and worth nothing in comparison to God.” If someone behaves ill toward you, you should think, “Who am I? Am I worth anything that people should behave well towards me? Who am I to get offended, am I giving myself self-worth?” If someone doesn’t call you, you should think, “Who am I to deserve a phone call? I should be the one calling first to express my gratitude.” If someone ignores you, you should think, “Who am I, that I think I deserve to be paid attention to?” My friend advised me once to not expect equality from others: give and serve others but expect no payback. If people look down upon you/me, we should take it as a blessing because it only serves to increase our humility.

My friend’s favorite Ustadh would tell people when they apologized to him, “Don’t worry about it. Who am I? You could slap me and I still wouldn’t be worthy.” MashAllah, this is humility.

I remember Shaykh Hamza Yusuf once said that one of the four Mujtahid Imams would make dua to Allah whenever he got into an argument/disagreement that he would be the person who was wrong so that he could submit to the other person. SubhanAllah, who makes dua that they are the loser of an argument? It’s ALWAYS vice versa. This is the humility that modern leaders lack. I get discouraged when I see Muslim leaders refuse to accept apologies or ignore people for more than a few days. It really saddens my heart. The ego is spreading its poison everywhere. Who are we to think that we are so special that we refuse to accept the apologies of others and ignore people?

I really love my mom. She thinks just like me. A person’s good character and humility is more precious to God than knowledge that is not acted upon. My mom told me the hadith story of a woman who used to pray avidly, but still threw garbage in her neighbor’s yard. Due to this one improper action, all of her good deeds were ignored by God and she had to suffer in Hell. No matter how much knowledge a person gains, no matter how many prayers and halaqahs they give, if they have poor character and hurt others through their actions, no one can judge whether they are going to Paradise/Hell or not. Leave it up to God.

No doubt, humility is a hard trait to embody. This is why some shuyukh would have their students become beggars for a few years. They wanted their students to learn what REAL humility is. This is also why some shuyukh tell their students to NEVER use the word “I” when describing themselves, but to use the phrase this Faqir. A faqir is a despondent, poor, and needy soul/person.

If you continue to think this way, your life becomes much happier and productive, inshAllah. You will be grateful to God and others a lot more. After all, there is a hadith that says, “Whoever has not thanked others, has not thanked God.”

“The whole Koran describes the wickedness of egos: Study the Holy Book! Where is your insight?” (Rumi; Mathnawi VI 4862)
“Concern yourself not with the thieflike ego and its business. Whatever is not God’s work is nothing, nothing!” (Rumi; Mathnawi II 1063)

The goal of Tasawwuf is to remove this burdensome ego and purify the heart from all spiritual diseases by adhering to the Qur’an (Koran) and Sunnah which includes the remedies prescribed by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself. In fact, according to a hadith, the person with an atom’s weight of arrogance will not enter Paradise. The path of Islam is thus a path of removing all slivers of arrogance and filth within our souls.

So remember: sensitivity=self worth=ego

“The bird that escapes from the trap of its ego has no fear, wherever it may fly.” (Rumi; Diwan 7327)